Tales of extreme misery and lots of happy.

I just spent an hour and a half crying uncontrollably and talking to myself. I'm depressed, I'm distressed, I'm weak and tired and sick of putting up with the world. The past few days I've been drowning in emotions and fatigue and frustration. My misanthropic state is growing very rapidly; I've been itching to fricking curse certain people out give them a piece of my mind. I'm a walking bombshell.

The only point of my day in which I had some peace and sanity was, of course, literature class. It's amazing how one hour can keep you from coming home crying and cursing out the world and willing death and destruction upon all mankind. My sonnet, which was written in ten minutes the night before, was applauded (and happened to be the only sonnet written; everything else was a quatrain), and I got to act out bits of Henry V. Mister Shakespeare, you are my saviour. Thank you for keeping me sane. And, by the way, you have also rescued the world from burning in hellfire, as I was prepared to invoke the anger of the gods upon it.

Well there is a beacon of light in all of this, and it's filled with all sorts of happy. I am going to be in the Rolling Stone!! OMIGEE!


You're jealous, I know. It's okay. Really.


Two weeks ago I participated in a photo shoot for TWLOHA in Washington Square. It was possibly the best experience of my life. People came out from Toronto and Virginia and Delaware and DC just for this one day. Mostly kids just out of high school, all coming together for a few hours. It was absolutely amazing: there was so much energy and life and unity. We left the busy-ness of our lives and all our worries behind. It was a whole little community right in Washington Square. And people were staring as they passed, a few were interested, and one guy started cursing for who knows what reason. He must have had a bad day. Anyway, we chalked up the square with messages of love and hope, and we sang "All You Need Is Love" with the lead singer of The Early Hours. I met the founder Jamie Tworkowski, who is so wonderful and amazing. He actually invited us to be apart of this, that's how amazing he is. And I held his hand as he was tummy surfing the crowd in one of the shots!! Highlight of the highlight of my day right there.


So the issue comes out today, and I'm SO excited. And I'm meeting up with a little group from the shoot in a few weeks, and we're going to chalk up Union Square with more love and hope, and we'll share stories and build friendships and love each other. And this is on our own; these people are amazing, and their voices deserve to be heard and their stories need to be shared.


If you have made it this far, I thank you for putting up with me and my rambles. Night.

NaNoWriMo and other Novemberish happenings.

It's been long enough. Right now I'm on a mental guilt trip for being so inconsistent with posting. I mean, it's a blog. It's like a diary. How hard can it be to keep up with? (That was rhetorical, and I already know the answer.) And I left my poor sub-blog withering in the cold, all alone... Gosh, I'm such a terrible person.

So, I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The bad news is the same as always. I'm pretty much a wreck, both emotionally and physically. The latter is the hardest to deal with and the most dominant, but the former has been getting worse as of late. This is around the same time I was first crippled by depression last year, according to my mom; I only really noticed it between late December and early January. I'm learning to deal with this, to take it all in stride. Things don't bother me to the extent that they used to, but I still get overwhelmed. I have whatever's going on in my own mind and body, accompanied by the added pressures of certain people around me and the everday stress of family, school, etc. Actually, because certain people rely on me, and certain people bother me, I have been recently overcome by misanthropy. How this is possible, I do not know. But if it keeps these people away from me then so be it.

The good news: I'm writing a novel! Woo!
50,000 words in 30 days!... Say what?!

Yes. November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). And I'm crazy for doing it, but I have taken the challenge. One whole month of creative genius and insanity. To complete it at a good pace, you have to average close to 1,667 words per day. Sounds easy when broken down that way, but imagine my surprise when I found out it's quite difficult to keep up with.

A friend of mine put me up to it, actually. We are motivating each other, feeding our Muses, sharing thoughts, exchanging scenes, keeping each other up at 2am. It's quite fun. And I'm so glad he made me do it, because I need something like this. And he's just awesome like that.

And I want you to be awesome, too! Please (pleasepleaseplease) help motivate me! Believe me, I need it. I'm already below par in my first week. I need some drive here. Tweet me, send an email, chat with me in the wee hours of the morning... whatever you can do. And I love being taken by surprise, so get me on a random day with something witty or cute or poetic. Always works.

Some extra info: I'm using the romance novels of Eva Ibbotson as my inspiration. In case you don't know, Eva Ibbotson is a BRILLIANTLY AMAZING writer and my favourite author. I love her so much that I have 4 out of 5 of her romances, and I underline and write out my favourite quotes and make a list of themes and allusions that I've found therein. Yes, she's that amazing. Hopefully by the end of these four weeks or so I will have a novel that is a fraction as good as Miss Ibbotson's.

Well, TTFN. I'll be back here soon. No, really, I will.